It’s been two years after I started riding my bike on these Pune roads. Here is some words of wisdom that I’ve gained in the past 24 months… let’s start.

  1. First and foremost rule to remember is that there are no traffic rules here. If at all those are there, never followed by people.
  2. Be dumb and deaf. Though this is listed second here, it’s very very important. When some fellow rider (of any number of wheels) puts you in trouble, better be dumb about it than to shout. Coz, it’s only going to ruin your peace of mind. Nextly, be deaf to the unnecessary honking by people. Thumb rule to remember is that people honk just because they like honking, there’s no other reason for it.
  3. If blinkers are glowing on a vehicle ahead of yours, don’t be bluffed by the direction of the blinkers. This is more true when the rider is a female (I am not biased here… stating this only after statistically analysing the scenes). The blinkers are ON either because he/she forgot to switch them off at the previous turn, OR because his/her directional logic is functioning in reverse mode. In either case, it is better to maintain safe distance in such dilemma. Adding more to it… if an auto rickshaw going ahead, be extra alert.
  4. Next rule is related to our great grand public transport buses. If ever you have to stop at some signal, never stop besides a PMC bus. The probability of somebody spitting (this spit can be of any colour ranging from black/brown to red depending on how long he was chewing that pan/gutka) is quite high than the probability of being blessed with a bird-shit while walking under a tree with full of birds sitting on it.
  5. Now the most common thing… if you are stopped by a traffic police for random check, no matter how careful you are in following traffic signals, having proper license and other documents, chances are high that he will show this/that reason for charging you a fine. If you are totally free and have all your time in life, have fun arguing with him for sometime. Otherwise, just start negotiating with him about the fine without receipt (we should morally call it a bribe, but for time being we shall call it the other way) and get away with the messy situation. Usually, 50 bucks should be more than sufficient. But, if your horoscope is not good on that auspicious day, better don’t bargain too much if you are in hurry. Coz, your girlfriend/wife may not like be in public display for long time 😉
  6. Now, another interesting rule. Just because there are no immediate junctions ahead, or it is a one-way, never assume that there are no obstacles. Some people are so fond of stunts that they don’t mind coming in the wrong (oh, shall we really call it wrong here? may be that’s right direction according to his/her poor conscience) direction. Only choice left to you in such situations is to be extremely alert.
  7. Lastly, irrespective of all these rules, and whatever you’ve learnt on your own, there is no guarantee that your journey is safe till your destination. Anything may happen to change your destination, may be to hell or heaven or to a hospital. So, if you believe in GOD, trust in GOD. If you are an atheist, trust in yourself 😉

PS: This post is not to point out to anybody in particular. These are my personal experiences on roads over the past two years. Discussions, be it funny or serious, are welcome.